Friendships Never End

I remember 6 months ago, when I completed my training in KL and had to head back to Kuantan for long-term work, my heart ached as I had to leave my friends with whom I had weathered rain and sunshine, literally. There was comfort, however, knowing that one of those good friends would be returning to Kuantan too. Today, my I feel exactly that same way again as he gets his long awaited transfer and leaves Kuantan for good.

This friend (some call him J) and I were in Kuantan, but different Ministries, prior to the training but we never spoke more than "Hi's" and "Byes" at church. During the training, we were grouped together, and that is how the threads of acquaintances among a bunch of us was weaved into beautiful colours. It's funny sometimes to think that since we returned from training and not attending the same chuch anymore, J became my best friend in Kuantan.

During the most streneous tasks in Police, Army and Fire training, J displayed his 'super-hero' qualities, being among the swiftest in running, most agile in climbing and strongest physically despite lean built. After almost every obstacle which most of us were half-dying, we would hear him say, "It's not challenging enough!"

There's one incident when J was my mountain climbing buddy (Army training) that I'll never forget in my whole life, I believe ; the time when J was hanging onto dear life on the cliff of a mountain in Johor Bahru, after posing for a picture. He leaned against a fragile branch and fell off the cliff, only holding a stump, nothing but his head and arm in view. In panic and fear, I was shouting out his name until few other guys came to his rescue, thank god. I can't imagine the consequences otherwise.

J has always helped me in times of need, esspecially in driving me to bus terminal, in a place where public transportation is scarce. I'll also miss those irregular meals we had together when we were free. And the nice feeling that there will be a familiar face during tea-breaks in the crowd of state meetings from various departments.When I was facing difficult tasks and people at work, J was there to support and advice. Frank in nature and firm in what he believes, his opinions are worth listening to, not necessarily meaning that I agree with everthing he says:P...He's someone you can count on...Little things like not cancelling our lunch appointment although he had eaten his fill at an open house, and coming out of the way to fetch me tells me of what a good friend I've found.

J was awaiting his transfer since the beginning and I just knew he would get it soon. When I prayed for his transfer, I knew that my prayers indirectly would leave me very much alone; no trustworthy colleague in the same service, in the same town, to discuss work matters that others might not understand. No game of chess or Chinese noodles on those long Friday noon breaks. Well, technology can seal the gaps of distance, but it'll never be the same...Turns out to be sooner than expected...but I'm really happy for him and his wife:)....Very Biblical; it's not good f0r man to be alone:P

By the way, he just got married to a very pretty lady (K)!:)

J, Congratulations once again my friend! Thank you for making time to let me meet up with your wonderful wife! All the best to you!

Anyway, I just want to take this opportunity to thank J for EVERYTHING!..And I just realized something: J did help me find another 'Best Friend' shortly before he left....He helped me buy my guitar, which has become my faithful companion every day...and as for the rest, God always provides:)

An old saying goes:

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter, he who finds one finds a treasure"

I thank God for ALL the ones He lead my way. The footprints will remain forever. Take care.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The fresh dew rests upon the pretty leaves,

The sun is shining,

Flowers add color to a world of gloom,

A new day has come.

But why is it not enough?

The pursuit of happiness,

Is like an endless journey,

A trap to forget the present,

In expecting some epiphany.

To live for the moment,

To forget the past and move on,

To love and dream again,

To hope and trust,

Is just so hard to do.

-angeleye757-

Psalm 43:5, New Living Translation

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!

Reminiscence of the village life

My 6 months course has come to an end - if I could watch my life like a movie and could only pick one phase to replay, i would most definately rewind and watch the last 6 months again. My last 6 months consist of police, army and fire training, besides Outward Bound and mountain climbing activities, not forgetting all the indoor lectures, rules and regulations which we lived by till the end. The days of the greatest physical and mental challenges I have ever faced that resulted in the best times I have ever experienced have finally sent me back to where I began - Kuantan.

In reminisence, the final module that I had to go through was 3 weeks in a village in Besut, Terrengganu - 'Foster Child Programme'.During the programme, we were to experience the kampung lifestyle and carry out a research regarding the quality of living, and also organize a social event for the villagers.

I was placed in a rubber estate area with very elderly rubber tapper / farmer as my foster parents. I also had a foster sister in the house, aged 21. The village never had a non-malay as a resident, so I became quite a sight. The house was half brick and half wood - built by my foster father all by himself. I was given a room to myself, with a bed protected with mosquito nettings. That is the part i liked to most about being in a 'kampung house'. There was a little space between the zinc roof and adjacent bricks which allowed all sorts of insects to enter my room at night, ranging from big moths to smaller unsightly bugs. Under normal circumstances, I would never consider that room "sleep-able" but the presence of the mosquito netting made it altogether different. I would sometimes stay up late at night and use my foster sister's laptop to type my assignment. During that time, I would be surrounded by all kind of scary looking insects, even spiders, but I felt so secure within the pink mosquito netting, known as "kelambu" in Malay. No words can describe that pleasant feeling of safety, to be able to sleep through the night and find countless dead insects, unable to penetrate the nettings, looking down at me when I wake up in the morning...illustrated to me our trust in His shield also. The best thing about the nights is that I sometimes saw beautiful fireflies above my 'kelambu' as they passed through on their journey in the dark, while I laid awake, thinking of so many things....reminding me time and again of the beauty and peace of the Lord that I had forgotten.

The bathroom was very basic. It was the first time in my life that I used a workable toilet without flush. It was using the concept where the toilet was built in such a way whereby just a dipper of water flushed everything down. However, that bathroom door was made of wood and intentional peeping would be possible through the spaces in between the planks, and from the sides of the low zinc roof. And whether it's good or bad, they had no lights in the bathroom. Thus, I avoided to using the loo after dark. However, in the second week, I realized that the absence of light was to my benefit, and I had my evening bath only after dark, using my own little torchlight to light my feet and just to check the surroundings as I entered.

Language was a little bit of a challenge. The villagers spoke in thick Kelantanese accent as Besut is towards border of Kelantan. However, my foster sister who happened to study in Kuantan spoke normal Malay and she was my translator most of the time. Innially, I got a rude shock on my first day as in the house when my foster mother refered to my name tag as "tanda tetek" (direct translation : breast tag) which we usually call "tanda nama." Other terms are different from our usual Malay, but not so shocking. For example, when my 'mom' said " tubik kawan mu", I was blinking - "tubik" is call or ask, what we normally say "panggil."

Food was not too much of a problem, as far as the menu was concerned. My 'family' wasn't a fan of all those 'lemak' and 'santan', so I was saved. Thank God! They usually had steamed, soupy or lightly fried food. However, there were some elements that disturbed me, which I feel are not very nice to mention here, that reduced my apetite. Thus I did not eat much. However, because of the sincerity of their hearts, many times I forced myself, or tried my best to avoid in the politest way possible. Ussually it was by saying "I'm a very small eater, naturally" or that I only eat rice once a day, so that I can eat bread and kaya instead. In my final week there, my 'family' excitedly bought me one of their delicacies called "laksam' - laksa asam, which most people enjoyed. The gravy was grey( that is a put off by itself, as I like my food to have colour), and it was made of pounded fish and coconut milk! There were some leaves which were very fragrant to the extent of giving me a headache, and thick white noodles which reminded me of nothing nice. I was trying to avoid their presence saying that I would eat later, after they left for work, but no, they brought me a plate and sat around me, to watch me 'enjoy' that special delicacy!For goodness sake, this was supposed to be my breakfast! As they sat in front of me with eager eyes, I just knew I had to fake it...After all I had just a few remaining days with them and wanted to leave them with pleasant memories, so I became a little hypocrite, if it's not too harsh a word use. As I took my first spoonful of 'laksam', my tounge only the tasted the disgust that my mind had already conceived, but fortunately I managed to intercept my speech just in time in to force out a smile and say, "Boleh tahan, juga...Sedap..sedap..." To this, they smiled with ease,and I felt good, and this helped me proceed to finish half of the meal. But about half an hour after they left, I had an upset stomach.

I also learnt something from my experience with my village family. They don't say much but they notice a lot, and express it in different ways. They told me to help myself to anything in the house. Even when they bought food, I just ate a little and left the rest for them, thiking they would eat it later. But then, my father went over to my friend's place and worriedly said that he did not know what to do with me. I ate so little, I did not ask for anything and I could not be forced, and that my three meals would not even amount to a single of his in a day! He lamented that they served me something different everyday to see which one I would eat more, to know my likes, but then I maintained the same little amount everytime. When my friend related this incident to me in the second week, I knew I had to do something as I felt bad. So, when I liked something, like fruits from his orchard, I would deliberately make myself seen when eating. I soon found that my mom who did not speak much would bring me a plate of different fruits every now and then as I worked on my assignment quietly in my room. I was really touched by this woman who did not seem very friendly at first.


During my stay there, I also had many motorbike rides with my 'sister'. I am not a very brave person in that sense, and on my first ride, I was clinging on to dear life, as my sister took me around the kampung without a helmet. And as I saw many others riding without safety measures, I was shocked at their ignorance as these people were not beyond advancement. And for goodness sake, I am in the Department of Road Transport! That was the only transport available at the moment and I assumed that they didn't have a helmet. I didn't want to appear rude to ask. However, the next day, she was taking me out to town, and handed me a helmet, thank God! It was then that I realized their mentality of using the helmet not for safety, but to avoid summons in the town!

I had good times in Besut, going out with my sister and a few friends placed within the same area. We went to the Lata Tembakah waterfall which had a breathtaking view, my feet had a treat at the La Hot Spring, and we had a nice time out in the 'pekan' where the biggest shopping place was Econjaya, a reasonable departmental store, and oh, they had Watsons. As for my village area, my colleagues and I organized motivational and teambuilding games for examination students in the village.

There are many more things I could say, but I shall end here. As we promised our hosts in the village, we would share the good times but leave the bad times as we left the village. I thank God for all that He had allowed me to experience, learn and enjoy during my time there, and yes, I do miss them sometimes. Till I write again. Take care.

Pictures at Outward Bound School

Canoeing!!! That's me with the pedal.





To the islands we head!




Evenings by the sea!




Upon arriving at sland destinations of kayak and whaler expeditions - Teluk Sekadih



The long-houses behind - our OBS accomodation. By the abandoned mine -campsite-Peak 300

At campsite

Rock-climbing

Pictures of Chilling Expedition

View from the peak of Bukit Kutu




The walk back from Bukit Kutu - Kuala Kubu Baru, Selangor




Waterfalls at Gunung Ulu Semangkuk - Chilling River


At the peak of Bukit Kutu

Spiderman 3

Two weeks ago, I was able to watch one of the most awaited movies on my 'must-watch list' - a movie that was a motivation to complete my outdoor modules - SPIDERMAN 3.

I think it was a simply remarkable movie, despite hearing many negative comments about it. I find the action part of it, not superbly impressive, but sufficiently thrilling. Being a person who believes that there is more to it than meets the eye, I just love the values and reality of human nature that was being portrayed by the characters.

I saw a Spiderman 3 advertisement that read "Hang on to the good in you or unleash the darkness within you." That is so true, not just for a superhero figure but for every average guy on the street. To give a superhero the choice to be good or evil, to make mistakes and realize his faults, to forgive himself as well as others, really brings out the human behind the mask. And it really made Spiderman a true hero in the end, when he chose to hang on to the good in him, and even attempt to save his 'enemy' from the trap of desire of power. I believe even heroes make mistakes, as they are not God. They also face the fight of good versus evil, and they have a right to be wrong. What matters in the end is the choices they make.

One thing in particular that really caught my attention in this movie was the introduction of the black spidey suit. To me, it represented sin and evil. Evil brings pleasure and power, and the more a person desires it, the more he is actually offering himself slave to it, contrary to what he thinks. There will come a point where it will become part of him, without he realizing it, and bring about his own destruction. Fortunately, Spiderman realized it early enough, although in his folly, he chose the black suit over his own several times, despite warnings about its nature. I think about times in my life, in little things, where small actions that brought about momentual pleasure would have actually lead to serious problems if I were not careful, or if God had not gently or harshly reminded me. To some, the black suit can be money, a person, women, material possesions, position of power or anything else. I could relate to Spiderman in several ways, and I am sure you can too, if you look at it this way.

I didn't like the part where Spiderman kissed the blonde without even thinking twice of its significance with his girlfriend - for goodness sake, it was 'their kiss'! Spiderman didn't even realize that it might have hurt his girlfriend's feelings. Besides that, I noticed that Spiderman wasn't sensitive enough to his girlfriend's feelings in trying to understand her on various occasions, and this kind of things can lead to relationship breakdowns in real life. However, his actions to risk his life fighting two against one to save his loved one, makes up for all his shortcomings, and proves the chastity of his love.

I like the ending where Spiderman's best friend choses to do good and help his friend in need, to the extent of laying down his own life. Truly, the value of love and friendship is shown in this movie.

Besides that, I like the angelic role of the grandmother who teaches love instead of revenge, who is always there to try to understand the problems that the young superhero faces. In our lives, I believe each of us have experienced moments when God sends the right person to say the right things to us just when we need it. It's just amazing.

All in all, i love the movie, the same way I loved Spiderman 1 & 2. Am looking forward to watch it again. To me, there are so many lessons to be learnt in it, and it is definately worth watching.

That's about it. Take care and God bless you.

The Ultimate Challenge - Fire

The last two weeks were like episodes of fear factor for me, having to undergo my final outdoor module of fire training, in the Fire and Rescue Academy in Kuala Kubu Baru, Selangor. It was an experience that left an indelible impact on me, engraving a deep appreciation of the life of fire fighters.

The training comprised of various activities, the first one being B.A. Gallery for my group. B.A. stands for Breathing Apparatus. The B.A. gallery is an extremely dark room where one can't see a thing. It's a maze-like cage whereby the only way to get out is by crawling, with a breathing apparatus on our backs, and a mask stuck to our face. For your information, a B.A. weighs 25kg. But once I began crawling, I didn't really feel the weight. We entered the B.A. gallery in groups of 3. I was in the centre position, and our medium of communication was touch and sound. We were advised to relax before entering. I didn't think I was afraid, but somehow I could feel my breathing pattern change very drastically...Perhaps it was stress that I didn't feel I had. It was a good experience, as it increased confidence of being in complete darkness. Imagine if there were a fire, and we couldn't see a thing when attempting to escape...that is how we would be.

Right after B.A. Gallery, we had another activity called B.A. Familia. The purpose of it was for us to familiarise ourselves with using the B.A. To me, this was one of the toughest and heaviest. I have a small framed body, and the B.A. does not fit on my back perfectly. The shoulder strap tends to slide a little off my shoulders every now and then despite maximum tightening, to which my instructer said my size requires tailor made stuff. Anyway, we had to run fast with a 18kg B.A. on our back, breathing compressed air in a controlled manner so that it doesn't run out. We ran up and down three floors in 30 seconds. Upon reaching down, we had to do 30 push ups and 20 star jumps. Then we had to run to the field and walk on a moving 'bridge' and after that, crawl under it, and run back to where we started. It felt half-dead but I told myself, "You survived Battle Inoculation in the Army...this is nothing..." ...and I did it. But to tell you the truth, crawling in the Army is actually easier compared to this as the weight and controlled breathing makes everything more difficult.

That were two really heavy activities in a day. After that, we had a supposedly lighter activity - Water Rescue - which is scuba diving in a pool. It looked easy and fun, but for a person who can't swim, the water is not entirely enticing. To get into a pool where my feet doesn't touch the ground sure didn't give me confidence. Fortunately, the instructors were very nice and patient people. The chief instructer called me ' Standard 6 girl' and picked me to warm me up by floating. It wasn't too bad, and the diving suit actually aids floating, which I failed to realize at first. After that, another instructed helped me put on all the equipment and to the base we headed. It was a really cool experience to be underwater and see the corals that the instructers have placed. As usual, my B.A. (size M was the smallest available) was a little loose on me, and there were insufficient weights on me. When we were underwater I found myself automatically floating upwards after stepping on the floor. At that point, I lost sight of my instructer and I thought I was drowning...Ha ha...silly me! I completely forgot that I was breathing through my mouth, and that why I couldn't breath through my nose......But I managed to correct myself, and after a round under the water, my instructor led me up again. It will be an experiece I'll never forget. At the end of the session when everyone went to get changed, my officer happened to spot a few of us on our way to the bathroom, and asked us jump into the pool and swim across before changing into our dry attire. I didn't have sufficient confidence and just sat at the edge with my feet in the water, knowing it will never touch the base, asking him 'Do I really have to do this...I can't swim....." And the officer came behind me, and asked strictly, "Are you going in OR...." to which I quickly answered "I'll go in"....I just left myself down while holding strongly to the edges...It was then that I realized that the diving suit actually functioned as a bouyancy jacket by itself....And that my stern officer wasn't that heartless after all. He came to the edge, asked me to let go completely...then he held me from behind and while I just paddled across...it was a liberating experience.

I noticed that my officer picked on me quite a bit throughout the course. During fire extinguishing, he told my group that I must go last, after all the rest. And he made me come up in front and give an explanation on what the instructor just taught. If I failed to extinguish the fire correctly, it would mean that my whole group would fail...It put quite a little pressure on my. Fortunately, I extinguished the fire correctly in very little time, and we were all happy.We also had Rope Rescue - repelling...Upon reaching, my officer asked me to sing a Tamil song before he graded me.

When we first got our course schedule, I saw that Sewer Simulation was on the third day. I told myself that once I completed Sewer, it would be as if I've completed the whole training, because it is supposedly the toughest. This activity required us to crawl a dark sewer which is about 100m long, with our B.A., and it's not just about crawling in a tunnel. From one tunnel to another adjacent tunnel, a little bit of jumping, climbing and some sort of 'acrobatics' is required. It's not as simple as it sounds. In fact, part of that sewer was used as a challenge in Fear Factor Malaysia. As I began crawling in the darkness, I could feel my breathing change. I tried to motivate myself saying, "You only HAVE to do this once in your life....move on"...But once I got the hang of it, I began saying, "You only GET to do this once in your life...so, move on.." Somewhere in the tunnel, there's a 'Rabbit Hole" where we have to take off the B.A. and crawl because it is tiny. During that time, I accidentally knocked my face mask a little to the side, and a lot of my compressed air leaked out. A lot of was wasted and I ran out of it before reaching the finishing. When I finally reached the end of the final tunnel and saw a sunlight, I was delighted, but that happiness was short-lived. True, that was the end of the tunnel, but the the instructor was waiting to grade us four storreys above. I had to climb up that red ladder, and when I looked up, in that state of exhaustion, it felt as if the climb would take forever! But I took it one step at a time...with my hands and legs trembling, not of fear, but of drained out strength...When I finally reached up, my instructor said, "If Joanna can do it, there's no reason why anyone else cannot do it." And he gave me full marks for that particular activity...But I did feel a little of pressure being used as some kind of benchmark, being the smallest.

After these activities, we finally reached the stage of real fighting with fire. One was called Offensive Indoor Fire Fighting, where we had to wear a special protective suit, and fight fire in a container. It was extremely hot and I have never sweated that much in my whole life. I was excited to be in the face of a real big fire and have an opportunity to hold the nozzle of the hose. Another was Gas Leak, where we had to cease the fire two by two. My partner held the nozzle of the hose and created a water shield for me, while from behind him, I had to crawl and get really close to the fire and turn the valve to cease the fire. That was cool. Besides that, we had Gas Spill, which was a major fire. I could really feel the heat in my face being the second person behind the nozzle holder on the left side. The hose was really heavy, though. I had to support my 75kg weighing male team member from behind, and my weight of 42kg wasn't exactly serving the purpose..I found his weight overpowering the support I was trying to provide, because of the water pressure that was pushing him back, although another girl was supporting me from behind...but the real firefighter gave a hand to ensure everyone's safety.

Apart from that, we had Road Traffic Accident where we learnt how to break the parts of a car to rescue the victim. We had a another session on different ways to carry and rescue victims with the various stretchers. We had Night Confidence were each person had to walk for about 2km alone in the jungle to a specified location. We also had camping, flying fox and river crossing. For me, the heaviest of all was the Hose Operation where we had to run carrying hoses, which weighed about 10 kg, and perform duties of real firemen in a fire, as in coupling hoses and rolling them back after completion...Laborious! But extremely worthwhile.

I could go on and on, but time and the computer availability is my constraint. I shall stop here. Thank you for reading and forgive my errors. Take care.

To Serve, To Strive and Not to Yield

"To Serve with Honour, To Strive for Excellence, and Not to Yield Under Pressure"

That is the motto of Outward Bound, Malaysia, and truly I discovered its truth in every challenge that was put before us in the Outward Bound School. I spent the last two weeks in Lumut, Perak, which turned out to be, beyond the shadow of doubt, the best days of my life. Words will never be enough to share my experiences and feelings throught my time here, but I will try my best to sum them up in a poem.

Reflections in Outward Bound,Malaysia

Two weeks have come,
Fourteen days have gone,
The best days of my life.
Days of forgotten dreams fulfilled,
Pushing beyond limits made me thrilled.

A feat for two in a little yellow canoe,
Twenty two kilometres under the sky with various hues,
The sea displayed different characters along the way,
With patience and determination,
My partner and I braved the waves.
The corals beneath were marvelous,
The majestic eagles soared above,
The beauty of life is just undeniably too wondeful.

The next challenge was jungle tracking,
A haversack, tent sheets, a gallon of water and ration,
Carrying a bag bigger than my size,
Could only be accomplished with motivation.
Five kilometres on foot,
To the highest peak in Lumut,
Was terribly exhausting,
But together we achieved,
And that was remarkably something.

An uncertain journey without a guide can be disastrous,
A good leader is like a highly sought diamond,
But only with willing followers,
does it sparkle with elegance,
and shine in darkness,
in the midst of chaos,
and light up days of triumph.

The whaler was an experience totally anew,
With 8 oars power, sails and an anchor,
15 on board, Aye, Aye, Sir, set sail the crew!
The winds were not in favour,
Time and tide waits for no man,
The heavy oars were not my service to deliver,
I controlled the jib sail where I could stand,
While the rest pulled the oars in labour.
One, dip, pull up! I sang loud to rythm,
One of a kind for a call command,
For the oarsmen to oar in unison.
My tune was quickly caught by all,
On our presentation night when we lulled our theme song,
Our unique pirate like ochestra,
The director commended as original.

Camping was always part of our expeditions,
A life back to basics made friends our brothers,
We cooked our meals and ate rationed food together,
Set up tents with seafront view and shared limited shelter,
We endeavoured both low and high times as a team,
I'll never forget the day a guy 'stole' for a night,
my tights of leaves design in striking green.
Funny moments make us laugh,
To forget all troubles that never last.

Rock climbing and rope course was no less challenging,
The giant ladder, hour glass, bell and free falling,
Showed hidden meanings of life,
And the great importance of trusting.
It's can be difficult to hang in mid air,
Even knowing that we are securely held,
But the greater responsibility comes in being a belayer,
Knowing your strenghth holds your friend's trust and fear.

The final challenge was solo camping,
Setting up my own tent, collecting firewood and making my own camp fire,
Was an experience undescribably exciting.
As I attempted to boil water in my mess tin,
I didn't realized a group of monkeys,
In silence ambushed me from above the trees,
My heart was racing but remembered the advice,
Stay calm and ignore and they'll soon depart.
I fanned my fire into flames,
And the heat soon chased them away.

The night passed terribly slowly,
I could not sleep a wink with my tent securely covered,
Causing me to sweat but I'd rather have that way,
Than to attract undesired creatures and insects.
Nevertheless I loved every moment of it,
A little bit of solitude is good for the soul,
The feeling of independance is as valuable as gold.


All in all I thought and learnt a lot,
Phrases and words linked to nature that I used in the past,
Even Scriptures and analogies in the Bible,
Now leave me with more meaning and deeper comprehension.
It is true that a journey with nature shows you the Creator,
Not only to know Him but also our own self better.
God designed us just the way we are,
With strenghts and weaknesses,
That are made perfect by His grace,
With a complementary effect that gives each team member,
A special and unique role only he could to play.



In front of the sea to lay on the sand,
With the sound of splashing waves and company of friends,
To watch the sunset in its glory,
With picturesque island scenery,
Made me feel complete.

To ease myself the middle of the sea,
And see jelly fish and squids swim by,
To bathe in the river and pee behind trees,
To feel small like Nemo in the open sea,
And like Frodo with the Ring,
On a path where the end cannot be seen,
Is something money can never buy,
A lesson that purpose comes with a price.

I may be small,
I may be weak,
But the heart and soul can bring me,
To greater heights I never thought I could reach.

There are places and faces I'll remember all my life,
These two weeks have given me the best of those,
Memories that I'll cherish forever,
God's love that will leave me never.

A war dog and I in the army

Sitting beside me is a rather aged and domesticated war dog, after demonstrating how to salute, play dead and roll on sides. War
dogs are exceptional in the things they can do; detecting hidden drugs & even explosives, staying calm in a firing squad (this is not natural as dogs tend to tremble at the sound of fire crackers, i know as I've had dogs) in the jungle & the list goes on. Of course, all these amazing stunts are only possible after years of tough training.. which makes me wonder, is it fair for these dogs to undergo such hardship (though for a noble cause) and to be the chosen ones (not necessarily by their own choice) when others are having a loving family to play ball with, hugs when lightning strikes... But that's just life, i suppose.. Some of the soldiers I met in the army told me it was never their ambition to join the army, but were driven by necessity.. I asked them if they ever thought of quitting, after undergoing "hell-like" training, but they simply replied that there was no reason to turn back. This was the path that they knew they must travel, and they persevered with the right spirit... Many times in life, we can't chose, just like the war-dogs, be it in family, work..health..or even love.... Some paths must inevitably be travelled alone (with the Lord).. True, we have family & friends, but there are things they will never understand or be able to help... When flashbacks of the storms fill my mind, the Anchor is all I want to remember.. The Rock of Ages is everything that I need... We are humans, and unlike dogs, we have a much more of a choice on how 2 respond to circumstances.. May God help me to make right decisions, and to carry on with His strength.. For those who pray, please remember me. And the Lord be with you too...

What does 1 minute equal to?

One thing i'll never forget about my Captain is the infamous question in the title. Before ambush, my team was late by just one minute to assemble after setting up our tents & cooking our rationed food. When we stood before him, he didn't shout or yell at us for being late. He calmly asked us the infamous question in a low voice, to which we replied, 60 seconds. And he simply said, "Squad position down. 60 push ups." Imagine doing that right after eating! A single second can be a matter of life or death in the army, what more a minute.. A good lesson on punctuality, and discipline.

Make-up, army style!

Preparing to camouflage for ambush!

We were soldiers...for a week

A week has come and gone...a week that was once greatly feared, but now cherished forever...a week that I experienced the best days of my life!...It's almost indescribable...

Day 1
My batchmates and I departed by bus from our PJ Intan campus to Pusat Latihan Tempur Darat (PULADA) in Johor at 8.00am last Sunday to begin a week's training as soldiers. The journey lasted almost 6 hours with intervals along the way. With signboards indicating that we were almost reaching the most awaited destination, I wished with all my heart that the ride would not end so fast. My heart was filled with mixed emotions...On one hand, I was excited about the military style training that I was about to commence, and on the other hand, I feared that my feeble body may not be able to bear it. The previous batches had given us a very scary description of their experience as soldiers, but one side of me was nevertheless very eager to go through it..somehow a voice within told me it wouldn't be that bad... But to put it simply, I prepared myself mentally for the worst.

Finally, we reached PULADA around 12 noon, where we were ordered to stand in the marching field. The commanders were shouting at us, and at that moment, it felt like the gates of hell had just swallowed us in. As we were divided into our platoons, each of us were asked to swallow a pill which is supposed to prevent malaria. Simultaneously, we were given a back-pack which contained survival necessaties to carry with us, and also an army t-shirt, which unfortunately was too large for me. I came to PULADA with my own back-pack, a carry bag containing the army boots, belt and beret, and ironed clothes in hanger, in my hand. The additional luggage was too much for me to handle. Fortunately, the guys in my platoon helped me carry my load to the hostel.

The hostel we were given to stay was actually the hostel of Australian soldiers. It was like a dormitory. 2 were allocated for girls. The first one was full by the time I reached, which turned out to be a good thing. The first dorm fitted about 45 girls, and the second one, only 5. So 5 of us late comers enjoyed the privacy for 5 to a dorm. There were two common bathrooms for girls, which was pretty decent. The guys dorm was just opposite the girls'. As soon as we unloaded our stuff into the hostel, we were asked to board a bus to the training area which was 3 minutes away, by bus, to have our lunch.

I heard from previous batches that the first activity after lunch was crawling and side-roll. Both which caused nausea. Thus, I limited my intake of food, and was very particular to avoid oil and spices. I had also brough medicine to prevent vomiting. However, after eating lunch, I told myself that I want to go through it like a soldier, for that is what I was there for. I would never know my limit if I never went through it without the medicine. Thus, I left the medicine behind.

True enough, the first activity was crawling (aka jalan biawak) for a 100 metres, and back to origin. That is when I obtained my first souvenirs from the army; bruised elbows, which have yet to completely heal. After crawling halfway through, i felt completely exhausted and felt that I could not go on. But as I heard my platoon mates supporting me from the finishing line, I pushed myself further, despite the pain felt in every part of my body. When I reached the finishing line, my fingers were beginning to become numb, and my head was spinning. I felt like fainting, but told myself, 'Joanna, this is just the beginning...you must not faint. No, not now! Jesus,help me.." I didn't give in..I started massaging my own fingers and kept moving. Thank God, after some minutes, I felt better.

Following this came the most feared activity of the day - side roll!!! Imagine having to roll a 100 metres side ways! As I started rolling the first five rolls, my head already began to spin. The warned us against closing our eyes as it would cause a black-out. Somewhere along the way, I began rolling towards the side instead of up-front, and my platoon was calling out my name, asking me to stop and re-allign. As I stopped, and sat up...my God, I felt that I would faint any minute! The whole field seemed to be spinning and I could not position myself, but did it somehow through their directions,and continued rolling! And rolling, and rolling! By this time, rolling became somewhat an unconscious movement, where I found myself just rolling automatically without having to push myself.
When I reached the finishing line, my facilitator was waiting. "Joanna, jump right up and look at the sky. Don't look down. Keep on jumping!" He said. It felt impossible to do, as every step taken was on a revolving world. The important thing was not to give in to our feelings...to fight it was the key! I followed the advice, and lo and behold, after a few minutes, I felt just fine. I looked around and saw many vomitting, and in a daze, but I survived without vomiting, without medicine! My faith in God and confidence increased. I was also amazed at the capabilites of the human body to go against the ordinary and adjust back to normal just fine. Simply remarkable!

Those were the highlights of day 1. At night, we had interesting lectures...


A Captain I'll Always Remember

How many times in your life have you met someone with a kindred spirit? To me, a couple of times, but this time, it think, it was one in a million! The Captain from the army, assigned to head my platoon was not only left-handed as I am, but also shared the same birthday, which I only found out on the second last day of my military days!

Actuall, since the very first day I saw my Captain, there was something inexplainable about him that caused me to like him very much. It's not like some teenage crush or anything like that..more of a 'bond' which said, i have not known you before, but something tells me we have a lot in common. I mentally guessed that he must be born in March too, and observed that he was left-handed as well, as he handled the guns. I also observed him observing me, and that made me feel that the feeling was mutual. I truly respected and admired my Captain, for the physical strenght and agility he displayed, but he was extremely strict. I feared him, but could smile when punished, because I just liked him so much. He's a Malay guy, in his mid thirties.

When we had to practice holding the M16 gun single-handedly, I struggled very hard as it was heavy. I was the smallest in my platoon, and I could see him obversing each move I made. Suddenly, he came from behind and called my name...I kind of panicked, and he asked me, "Your really lefr-handed too?"..."Yes, sir!" was my reply. Then he taught me how to hold the gun properly, and 'adjusted' my shoulders and showed me how to position my body correctly, all without a smile, but complete seriousness. I was grateful, but of course, physical strenght was my limitation. "You need to do 100 push ups every day", he said sternly..I actually smiled, ha ha...

In the jungle survival village, we had ambush during the night, where we had to keep vigil and fire when we spotted our 'enemy', which of course was our Captain in disguise. I seriously never slept a wink, being on the lookout all the time, but when it was time to fire, my gun got jammed after the very first shot. Our captain then asked us all to get out of our hiding position, because obviously we hadn't fininshed our bullets (dummy ones)...I was very scared, as he ordered I hadn't finished mine as ordered. I told him my problem with quite a shaky voice (having cough at that time too). My Captain then took the gun from me, and pretty soon realized that it was really the gun's problem, and not mine...So he fired each remaining bullet for me, as it got jammed each time after he unjammed it.

On the second last day of our military week, we had night of performance in Puteri Pan Pacific Hotel, in Johor Bahru. It was a dinner function where we 'cadets' and the 'army staff were supposed to sit together in various tables to mingle...Each of us cadets had to leave an empty seat beside us in a table of 10, for the staff of the army. Throughout the journey to the hotel, from our base, I was hoping so much in my heart that my Captain would sit at my table, so that I could at least get to know him a little better...To my excitement, I saw him being ushered by my colleague saying to him, "Here Sir, you can sit beside Joanna." I was so thankful in my heart, but of course, I reacted as if it was nothing...ha ha....

This was my chance of a lifetime! He was extremely quiet and I decided to start the ball rolling. My first question was, "How is it like being a left-handed, handling the guns and all?"...Then, I had the audacity to ask him, are you always fierce and strict, to which he smiled and replied, "This is all a show. Just pretence.."..Somehow the topic slowly evolved to birthdays, and I asked him if he was born in March, to which he replied 28 March! I got a total shock, "That's the same as me!" I said...He just smiled and said he already knew. He had read my biodata. He later turned to my friend beside him and said to her that he was a lot like me...quiet in nature and all..He even showed me his fiance's picture.... That explained everything :)

In the morning of our second last day in the army, we had an activity called 'battle inoculation". We had to crawl under barbed wire, with small rivers on our right and left, and life bullets flying over our heads while explosives exploding beside us, and the ground shaking. I was having flu and cough, and as I crawled, I don't know just how much sand and river water from the explosion that I had swallowed! Towards the end of my crawl, I felt that I could push myself no more, and my platoon mate who had already reached simply dragged me by my uniform...I have so much to share on this but I'll focus on my Captain here, as of now, due to time limitation...My Captain was observing this I suppose, and as we lined up upon completion, my Captain came in front of me and called my name again...Once again, my heart trembled...I thought that he was going to scold me for being the last to reach in my platoon, and say that I caused my platoon to lose (actually, in the end my platoon won, and although I was last, I was still earier than the last persons of the other platoons, by 3 minutes)...And guess what my Captain said..."Joanna, you've got to eat more. Do you understand?"...That statement just made my day:)....

On the last day, a pity, my Captain wasn't around, so I smsed him a thank you messge, for everything. he replied and gave me very sound advice as last words. He said that I was quiet just like him, and we tend not to make our way to the top through popularity or 'boot-licking' which is good...Just be yourself and do your work well, don't follow others, he said...Very sound advice indeed...Truly, he will be a Captain I'll always remember:)


.....TO BE CONTINUED.....

We were soldiers

Picture taken after setting up our tents and cooking our own rationed food, shortly before all-night ambush in the jungle began.

Reflection: Chilin' Expedition

This is my favourite assignment since I began this course and I would like to share my "Reflection Paper" with you.

For our “Modul Kecerdasan dan Kecergasan Diri,” our ‘Sidang E’ chose Gunung Ulu Semangkuk and Bukit Kutu as the destinations, which were located beside Fraser’s Hill in the Selangor / Pahang border, along Sungai Chiling. It took us about 3 hours to climb up Gunung Ulu Semangkuk and another 3 hours to descend. As for Bukit Kutu which was a lot more challenging, we spent 6 hours climbing up and another 6 hours coming down. I have obtained an unforgettable experience through this expedition and have learnt many lessons which I am proud to share in this paper of reflection.

It is said that if one gets close to know nature, one will get to know to God. I found this exceptionally true as I ascended and descended the two mountains. With each step taken to climb up, I was in awe of the greatness of God in creating the world and all that is in it; the trees of various sizes, shapes and designs, the plants, the insects, the sky above, the sun and the ground, the air we breathe, and how everything works together in synchronization in this universe, at His command. I was also gained more understanding of the concepts used in religious scriptures and how they related so perfectly to nature. For example, the concept of stepping on solid ground to prevent from falling which means to keep our spirit strong to prevent vice, was so evident in nature when I stepped on soggy ground and almost fell. I also remembered other promises of God that He will send his angels to catch us lest we dash our foot against a stone, so many times when I almost fell.

Apart from that, once again, I was able to experience the truth that no man is an island. I could really feel the esprit de corps among each and every team member as we motivated each other to complete the climb when we fell exhausted and the peak seemed too high to ever reach. The stronger ones helped the weaker ones climb by reaching out their hand to pull others up, our pushing the back from behind. Our team leader, Adi Faizal, was exceptionally a motivational leader and he kept telling us that in another 10 minutes, the mountain path would not be so steep. And when the ten minutes had passed, he would say, in another 15 minutes time, the path would be easier. Although at the back of our heads, we knew he was just saying it to motivate us and was not really true, it indeed did help motivate us and was exactly what we needed; a hope to go on. Every now and then, we took breaks to recollect our energy; we shared what whatever food and drinks we brought. When we finally reached to peak of both mountains together, the feeling was just indescribable! We had made it together, and would not have done it without each other.

There is a saying that goes, ‘The mind is the battlefield. We either win or lose the battle in the mind.” This proved itself to be remarkably true as I ascended and descended both mountains. At several points, the hill seemed to be almost 90 degrees steep and I wondered if I would ever be able to make it up. I told my mind I could do it, and that I would do whatever it takes to make it. I was on all fours like a ‘spider woman’ for God knows how long, and I did not even think of looking down. As I saw the ones before me making their way up little by little, I motivated myself that if they could do it, I could do it too. The human body responds and reacts to what the mind says, and if the mind gives up, even the strongest will fail.

Besides that, I developed a greater appreciation towards the human body. Initially, I wore hand gloves to protect my hands but removed it when I felt very warm. I was amazed that the tender skin on the palm was able to provide such good grip of the tree trunks and branches. Even when I was on all fours like an animal, my hands that I thought were feeble were able to support me so well. When I felt that I had no more strength to go on, my ankles and legs were still able to take me up and down safely. I was once more amazed at the workmanship of God in making humans fearfully and wonderfully perfect for every function we could think of. I repented for the times when I belittled my own body and was extremely thankful to God for the body He has given me.

There is a song in the musical ‘The Sound of Music’ which goes, “Climb every mountain, ford every hill, follow every rainbow, till you find your dream..” I was able to fully grasp the meaning of these lyrics in the Chilin’ expedition. I was able to relate this song to dreams of success, the fear of failure and expectations. There were times in the climb when we going all uphill and we could almost see the sunlight so clearly. I was thinking that we were going to reach the peak at almost any moment, only to find that all of a sudden, we had to thread a valley downhill. It made me remember that along our way to achieve success, the path is not forever uphill; there are times when we will have to go downhill to again before reaching the top. If things in life do not happen exactly according to our expectation, God has other plans and there are reasons for it. There are lessons we must learn on the way. God has equipped humans with indescribable capabilities and potential, but sometimes we do not even try to push ourselves because of the fear of failure, and we do not have enough confidence. What is important in life is that we will always face challenges but we must not quit, as the poem goes, “When the road you are trudging seems all uphill, rest if you must, but do not quit.” And when we finally reach the top, we must remember that it is not our final destination. Our journey will never end as long as we breathe, and we must never forget how we reached the top and the lessons we learned.

All in all, this ‘Expedisi Chilin’ has been extremely beneficial to me and I will never be able to forget it. It has been inscribed in my heart and I will always cherish the wonderful relationships forged among friends and team mates, and the wonderful teamwork displayed through this expedition. My self-confidence and endurance has increased, and I feel stronger. This expedition has made me push myself against my own limitations and helped me realize that we are actually more capable than we think we are. I am also very thankful for the organizers, INTAN, for creating a module such as this.

Up Close & Personal: PTD & PDRM

That's me on the stage on Mes Night. The function began at 8.30 pm and ended at 11pm, after which the dance floor was open. I just joined in for `poco-poco`, a very famouse Indonesian dance with steps similar to aerobics, had a slow dance with a malay guy and just sat down and watched happily while the rest enjoyed the fast dances and ' dangdut'. After that, we could proceed to the Mes Corner upstairs(like a lounge with a bar, 32 inch TV, karaoke lounge, snooker room, carom and dart board) where we were allowed to enjoy ourselves all night long. After 12.30am, i returned to my room to pack my stuff as we were to leave the next morning at 8.30am. Then, my roommate, Thila and I went to the Mes Corner. There I played carom for more than an hour, strummed a tune on a guitar, sang a few songs on karaoke, learned a bit of snooker and threw a few darts, and left at 5.30am. By then, the initial group of over 40 was reduced in number. My roomate & I were the only girls around with about 6 other guys. Ha ha.. I don't think i have enjoyed myself that way in my whole life! If there's one other thing i have learnt in this course besides discipline, teamwork and following orders, it is how to let my hair down and enjoy myself!:-)

An Unforgettable Night

The senior officer in the force requested us, the Indian community of 5 to put up an Indian performance on the Mes Night, and so we had to. Innitially, 2 the girl on my right, Shan, an Jacob, on my left were supposed to sing while Thila & Alan (the tallest) were to dance to our song, in 2 days' practice. Before practice, in the karaoke lounge, i sang Edelweiss just for fun, and to my surprise, received many compliments, and was encouraged to sing the Tamil song. On the Mes Night, Jacob had a terrible soar throat an completely lost his voice. This left Shan and I to a duet. I never really thought much of my voice, and I have never sang a tamil song in a duet in public before, but decided to go for it for the experience. Thila and Alan danced with so much flexibility and energy, just like the hero and heroine in a tamil movie, to the fast beat song called 'Kathal Pisase'. Jacob became our technician..in his whispers..he he.. My university friends must be really shocked to hear this as they never heard me speak a word of tamil, and here am I singing a hot tamil song on stage, ha ha:-P. I think it would not be too much to say that the vibrant dance was the most entertaining performance that night, to the extent of the VIP getting up and shaking hands with us right after our performance! We were really worried about making a fool of ourselves, but thank God, all went well.

Mes Night in the PDRM Banquet Hall

My batch is the 1st to experience a Mes Night. According to tradition since the British colonisation, the Mes Night was organized to celebrate success and victory. The police force organize this dinner in conjunction with our completion of the police module and the certificate giving ceremony. The dresscode is Mes Kit (aka monkey jacket), formally known as No. 1. The suit was specially tailored for us and costs RM 500. It's a 3 piece suit, consisting of a black, fitting cheongsam with songket collar, a songket girdle style belt and the white monkey jacket. The ceremony included a the carrying of the police flag, accompanied by 2 bagpipers. After that, a decanter was passed to each other 2 fill our glasses with 'wine'( something like the taking of communion) followed by a toast to the King and to the police force (with the national anthem and police song in the background). Truly, I have never felt so proud of being an Administrative & Diplomatic Officer! Being seated at the banqueting table in the presence of the VVIPS, hearing the bagpipers playing a royal tune, dining like fine ladies & gentlemen, i just felt totally honoured to be there. I do not know when I will get the opportunity to wear my No. 1 again..Even if my RM 500 suit were to be worn for just once, it was worth it. The experience was priceless:-)

FRU in Action!

FRU in Action! The Federal Reserve Unit came to the police college to show us a demonstration of how they disperse crowds to maintain public order. It was just awesome! The way the unit moved strategically according to command, their agility in their complete uniform weighing 30kg, their strength and commitment. They started off with a thundering warning by the commander using a hailer : "Bersurai sekarang atau kekerasan akan digunakan", followed by water cannon, and hitting with the 'baton' and the last resort would fire (which they have not used to now). I took the chance to pose with one of the officer's shield.:-)

Vector SP 1

Can't imagine me with a gun? Here I am with Vector SP 1:-). That picture was taken during our practice and there is great responsibility in handling weapons as it involves lives. Being a leftie, i found it a little difficult or slow in following instructions in switching hands etc..A few others and I had to do push-ups as punishment for failing to strictly follow orders. I was talking to a police officer and he said that he was literally walloped by his officer while training for pointing the gun the wrong way. Btw, i was punishd 4 looking at the gun 4 a few seconds when askd 2 put it down. I didn't do it on purpose, i jst felt a voice in a distance after being deafened briefly by the bullet explosion. However, to a large extent, i do agree with physical punishment in weapon training coz it tames the mind to remember, & when live bullets and lives r involved, u can't afford to take chances. The weight of the gun caused my feeble hand to shiver, but i passed the test nonetheless, and for that at least, I am satisfied.

Symbols of Honour

I never knew that the buttons on the police uniform were not sewn but had to be self assembled, nor that the marching shoes were embedded with studs at the sole. It's a must to wear the uniform completely and correctly. It was amazing; the amount of progress my platoon made with 2 hours under the sun! Innitially, we were like scattered sheep but managed to march in unison, to say the least and listen to commands:-) I made some mistakes here and there but the commander corrected me gently and with respect, to my surprise and gratitude. I thought I would be embarassed in public, being in the front row, knowing my own weaknesses in marching, but there was kindness:-). I know that in the army, i must brace myself up 4 'torture', but let me enjoy the police force while I can. I admire the police officers' discipline and am priviledged to experience it for a week.I feel honoured 2 hv d opportunity 2 wear the police uniform in the Royal Malaysian Police College! My uniform is oversized, though:-( Lectures r informative n entertaining:-). There's nothing more refreshing to a thirsty mind than an excellent speech. The top officers just hv that X-factor.

A Night with the Traffic Police

Today, i had the once in a lifetime experience of being a traffic enforcer in Jalan Sultan Ismail, KL. I managed to stop 4 motorcyclists without a valid license / roadtax.. One particular offender had a P license and his g/f was his pillion rider. Ha ha..he smiled sheepishly..like a child caught stealing a biscuit from a cookie jar while I inspected his identifications.. The whole experience was cool:-) Btw, i think you can spot me as the smallest in the picture:-P

1 Night with the Traffic Police

Today, i had the once in a lifetime experience of being a traffic enforcer in Jalan Sultan Ismail, KL, from 10pm till 2am. I managed to stop 4 motorcyclists without a valid license / roadtax.. One particular offender had a P license and his g/f was his pillion rider. Ha ha..he smiled sheepishly..like a child caught stealing a biscuit from a cookie jar while I inspected his identifications.. The whole experience was cool:-) Btw, i think you can spot me as the smallest in the picture:-P

Discipline is all that matters

That's me in the marching uniform:-) I never knew that the buttons were not sewn but had to be self assembled, nor that the marching shoes were embedded with 'nails' at the sole. It's a must to wear the uniform completely and correctly. It was amazing; the amount of progress my platoon made with 2 hours under the sun! Innitially, we were like scattered sheep but managed to march in unison and listen to commands:-) I made some mistakes here and there but the commander corrected me gently and with respect, to my surprise and gratitude. I thought I would be embarassed in public, being in the front row, knowing my own weaknesses in marching, but there was kindness:-) I admire the police officers discipline and am priviledged to experience it for a week.

1st Day in Uniform

I feel honoured 2 hv d opportunity 2 wear the police uniform in the Royal Malaysian Police College! My uniform is oversized, though:-( Lectures r informative n entertaining:-). There's nothing more refreshing to a thirsty mind than an excellent speech. The top officers just hv that X-factor.

The way, the truth and the life

I remember mentioning in one of my previous posts that I got some insights about the way, the truth and the light which night-walking through the jungle in Bukit Cherakah in the mid January. While I was enjoying the night-view of God's creations, here are a few points that came to my mind on the trail.

The Way
In the dark, everything appears more dangerous than it really is. On our night-walk, all participants were asked to dress in dark navy and no lights of any kind were permitted. The only light was the star-lit sky, and the only thing we could really see was probably each other's shoes, if it was white. Up to now, I do not know who was the kind boy in front of me who held my hand evey now and then to guide me up the diffult paths. Coming back to darkness, the paths looked really dangerous and every step seemed to be a huge risks. Our guides in front warned us in advance to keep to the left or to the right, to avoid falling into the deep lake. Back then, it looked as if with one wrong move, I would drown for sure! (being a non-swimmer). Well, it's true that the paths were rather adventurous and could cause harm if we side-tracked, but it sure wasn't THAT dangerous, in the morning light. Apparently, we had ample space to keep safe. All I needed to do was to follow the right way, and I would be safe.

That's the way with life too. As I looked back into my past, I realized that there were many times that I allowed darkness to trick me into believing the hopelessness of my situations, instead of seeing in the light. Now, when I look at it in the light, with God as my guide, it wasn't THAT bad after all. All I needed was to follow the Way.

Sometimes, the truth is to trust
During the night walk, I learnt the meaning of trust in a more practical way. Some of the paths were really steep and slippery, but our leader in front warned us before we reached. I listened to the leader's voice and took his words for it. I also learned to trust the stranger (team-mate) in front of me for it was the only choice I had. For some reason or other, in my personal life, I have always tried to rely on myself for experience has taught me not to place my trust in man (although also I do strongly believe in teamwork). However, in the dark, all of us needed one another. When the paths got really slippery and we were in the swamp up to our waist, to my rescue, the Malay guy in front of me would hold my hand and say, " I think you need help,"and all 4o of us, as pairs, would make it through together as a team. At one spot, a huge tree trunk was in the way, and my legs weren't long enough to climb over it. Once again, the I heard the familiar phrase, "I think you need help" and he carried me safely to the other side. Even as I was going through this whole journey, I felt convicted in my heart for not fully taking Christ at his Word, which never changes, at various points in my life. Jesus is the Shepherd that guides us and we hear His voice. He is the Truth, but I felt ashamed at being able to fully trust the words of a human, but not my Saviour, and I apologized to God.

The Light
Every once in a while on the trail, the guide from the jungle (if he passes by) would shine his bright torch across the surrounding area for a few brief moments to give us a rough idea of where we might be. Along the path, I was also captivated by the beautiful fireflies and other lumminant leaves (or insects, i don't know) which made the look like it was simply glowing in the dark. However, in advance, the forest guide had already warned us not to touch or follow anything that attracted us in any way. It could be dangerous, the said. We were also warned not to heed any 'unknown voices' or speak to 'unknown people' if we encountered such on our way, for such situations had resulted in people getting lost in the past. We could, however trust the starlight in the skies and and lights of our guide's torch, which guaranteed credibility.

It's the same with life, isn't it? Not all that glitters is gold. Evil does not necessarily only take the form of darkness. Deception can be involved, but the true Light will reveal all deception and lead the way.

More than just a walk
All in all, the night-walk through the Cherakah woods left me feeling great when we finally found our way out around 2 in the wee hours of the morning. I felt stronger and more confident about my physical strength to go through the woods in the dark, for several hours, and the risks that surrounded it. A closeness with my team-mates also began to develop. But best of all, I felt that as I walked, Jesus was holding my hand by my side.

Take care and have a nice day! God bless you:)