Is Age Really Just A Number?
A 17 year old falling for a 24 year old? Is that acceptable, or more of a forbidden love?If the latter is a guy and the former, a girl, it would probably be alright. But what if it’s the other way round?Marriages between 2 people of ages apart, have been an acceptable practice since the time of our ancestors. In the olden Chinese culture, a 5 year old boy could be betrothed to a 17 year old girl or vice versa. In the Indian and Malay culture, we might find our great-grandparents being up to 20 years apart, in a very blissful marriage. Generally speaking, the husband is older than the wife. However, lately, age is seen as just a number to many. But is it, really?
Is it possible for an older girl (more than 5 years difference) to have a happy marriage with a younger boy? Consider this: 17 year old boy (John) falls in love with a 24 year old girl (Jane). John is still schooling. Jane is working. When do they want to get married? When John is 24? That makes Jane 31. When do they plan to have children? Does John really want to become a father immediately upon marriage? If Jane waits longer to conceive, won’t she pass her ripe age of fertility? A switch of roles, it is, as I see it. Jane would be the bread winner for a couple of years till he completes his studies. What about Jane’s own plans for future advancement? John would be just establishing his career. Can they really manage everything (finance, studies, children etc.) well?
If we look at it in terms of mental and emotional commitment, who can guarantee whether or not either will have a change of heart? If Jane abandons John when she’s 26, John still won’t lack suitors. As John grows up and matures in thinking, his feelings and opinions may change. If John fall in love with a younger college girl when he’s 22, that’s easy for him. But that leaves Jane single at 29. To really nurture a new relationship instead of rushing into marriage will take a few years. Again, she would probably marry at 31. While 31 is not exactly very old, it is not an age where a girl would be on top of the list in a proposal hunt either. Also think about the emotional anguish and the issue of trust that would impact on both of them, in future relationships with others, if ever.
Consider another case where Angeline is 24 and Sean is 37. At what age do they plan to marry? Is Angeline willing to become a mother, immediately upon marriage, just because age is catching up with Sean? Can Sean really wait longer? What becomes of Sean is Angeline suddenly leaves, as she’s still young? Are they both financially stable? Is it really practical and ethical for a couple to be ages apart?
We must also remember that society plays a part in influencing us. Will what others say eventually have an impact on the couple who is ages apart, and their children? If they believe they wont’t be bothered, that's fine. But are they really sure?
What about the issue of faithfulness upon marriage? 10 years down the road, beyond the first night and beautiful romances, when beauty fades and health decays, will they truly all happiness and sorrows share? Or will someone else offer more satisfaction to the eyes and body?
A very dear person once said “Love blinds. When love is true, looks and beauty doesn’t matter at all. The purity of the heart does it all…Love is pure and divine. Age is just a number.” Truly beautifully said. But for that to happen, a great deal of sacrifices need to be made…Happy are those to whom true love comes their way.
As for the answers to all my other questions, age is more than just a number. For the rest, only time can tell. If you ask me, in the position of the older girl, I would say, “ If you love someone (way much younger), let him go and see the world. Let him learn, and let him love. Give him more options so that he'll not regret a decision he made during the foolishness of youth. As we all know, feelings are just temporary, and change is constant.. If he still returns (I doubt it:P), you’ll know it’s true. If not, it’s nice to know a friend passed by your way...for his happiness, you can pray.”
Only those whose heart are bound to the Lord’s will be able to truly commit themselves to each other; to survive all the tests that will come with a relationship, what’s more for one beyond the norm of society. Hopefully, true love finds us all, God willing!
