Brand vs Style

The other day, I was shocked to hear a 15 year old city lass say she spends RM 70 to RM 100 for make-up and hair do each time she attends a function or wedding. What extravagance! Even I, after working and earning, have never once done such a thing for a single function. Kids these days…(like I’m 70 years old) but it’s true, they are so different from my times; the products and brand names that they go for, the pricey clothes and accessories. Obviously, her parent’s can afford that kind of lifestyle, but what does it say about her as an individual? She’s rich – that’s one.

The general idea would be that the branded product/service is of better quality and could last longer. But more often than not, I believe these kids find their status and security by displaying the famous brands. Clothes, beauty products, handbags and what not – it surprises me that some clerks are willing to splurge on such things by making it a monthly commitment. If they have ample to spend, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong in looking good, but what is the purpose when one could put the money to better use? That is pure vanity.

In believe that the way a woman dresses reflects on her as an individual. It is who she is that is attractive, not the brand that she carries. If she can put on a style that suits her and portrays her personality, she is a lot more attractive than those who help advertise brands for free at a personal expense. Brand verses style - style always wins.

This, I can tell based on my own experience. I remember buying some clothes and make up that were a lot more expensive than my usual ones for Christmas once; for the sake of last minute shopping. I didn’t feel exactly comfortable in it, but I went ahead. Well, I did get some compliments about the new outfit and look. But in that same week, I wore a long, soft looking skirt with no slit that cost RM 19.90, a fitting blouse that cost only RM 17.50, and low-heels that were RM 15, with very minimal make up – just compact powder, and colored lip balm which was only RM 7.90. I was extremely comfortable with myself and went around smiling. And you wouldn’t believe it. I received compliments literally everywhere I went. Even from strangers on the street when crossing the road, and Malay aunties in bookstores. And I was thinking, this is one of my cheapest outfits! Today is another day with the similar experience. I’m wearing another of those cheap outfits and all my staff have nice things to say. They are shocked to hear the price, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Now, they are looking out for things like that.

The point I’m trying to make here is NOT that I am cheap (because the things I use are cheap) or that I’m a natural beauty. What I’m trying to say is that brand doesn’t make much of a difference in bringing out who you are. It’s the heart that makes a woman beautiful. It’s reflected in her eyes, and her sincere smile – and the choices she makes in determining her style – in showing her true self.

So to all girls out there, don’t become a victim of vanity. Know thyself. Be thyself.

Archeological Discovery of The Red Sea Crossing

It has been a very engaging exchange of e-mails with my Catholic friend regarding the authenticity of the Bible the last few days. Suddenly, I was reminded of the children’s story we often heard as kids in Sunday school – the Red Sea Crossing. It's about the Lord dividing the sea for His people to pass at the stretch of Moses’ hand, and then covering the entailing enemies’ horses and chariots with water, destroying them completely. The lesson was always about faith in God to do the impossible.

My teenage friend recently told me about the archeological discovery of chariot wheels buried in the sand of the sea of Nuweiba, and it’s really interesting. As a child, I never doubted. Thus, I am thrilled to learn of such findings.

Whether or not you are a believer, just sharing this site just for an interesting read with maps and pictures:

http://www.arkdiscovery.com/red_sea_crossing.htm

Below is the related passage from the Bible, if you want to know the background story.

Exodus 14

1 Then the LORD said to Moses, 2 "Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon. 3 Pharaoh will think, 'The Israelites are wandering around the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert.' 4 And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD." So the Israelites did this.

5 When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, "What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!" 6 So he had his chariot made ready and took his army with him. 7 He took six hundred of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them. 8 The LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt, so that he pursued the Israelites, who were marching out boldly. 9 The Egyptians—all Pharaoh's horses and chariots, horsemen [a] and troops—pursued the Israelites and overtook them as they camped by the sea near Pi Hahiroth, opposite Baal Zephon.

10 As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. 11 They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"

13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

15 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16 Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. 17 I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. 18 The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen."

19 Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them, 20 coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long.

21 Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, 22 and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

23 The Egyptians pursued them, and all Pharaoh's horses and chariots and horsemen followed them into the sea. 24 During the last watch of the night the LORD looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion. 25 He made the wheels of their chariots come off [b] so that they had difficulty driving. And the Egyptians said, "Let's get away from the Israelites! The LORD is fighting for them against Egypt."

26 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen." 27 Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing toward [c] it, and the LORD swept them into the sea. 28 The water flowed back and covered the chariots and horsemen—the entire army of Pharaoh that had followed the Israelites into the sea. Not one of them survived.

29 But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left. 30 That day the LORD saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. 31 And when the Israelites saw the great power the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.

Is that ‘lying’?

I remember during my university years, a lecturer who was very experienced in Project Management gave the class a piece of advice. “Lie with confidence to be in control. In the real world, it’s a skill you have to develop” Liars are easy to detect, with famous facial expressions and gestures to look out for. That’s why my lecturer stressed on ‘lying with confidence’. At that time, I thought that piece of advice was very unethical to follow, and reflected lack of integrity. But now, I’m actually questioning the truth and the ethicality involved in his advice.

I have observed around me, in the real world, that those who lie confidently have created pretty good impressions of themselves in meetings and in public. Those who didn’t tend to paint a slightly tainted picture. But the truth is, when you put yourself in position of the truthful, you’d understand their troubles. Sadly, not everyone can look at things that way. And if you really know the liars, you’d know they are lying through their teeth.

It’s hard being a Christian, or for that matter, holding on to principles that you want to follow (whatever your religion) – which says lying is a sin and there is no such thing as a white lie. Does hiding half the truth amount to lying? Does pretending for an innocent cause equal to lying? Is it wrong to lie to a liar for protection? Does rephrasing a sentence in such a way to avoid telling a lie make it ok? If you are in the situation to uphold someone’s image, what do you do? If you are put in a spot during meetings, do you ever think of advices like the one my lecturer provided? What makes a lie, a lie? Where does flexibility come in?

William Shakespeare did say “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts…” Does that make ‘acting’ to adapt to different situations permissible? I’m sure we all ‘act’ a lot in our daily lives. We play a different person at work and another one at home, and someone else with friends, and some other alone. We can’t possibly be the same all the time – in fact, that will be too boring.

Perhaps I shouldn’t see things from a purist point of view, and take it too hard. But I believe this dilemma will strike in one’s mind if one actually cares enough to think it through. There are those who don’t let their thoughts wander that far and take it as part of life. A friend once told me, “You can’t be too straight all the time.” Maybe that makes it easier; just take it as it comes and do what you have to do. But I still see it most ethical to exhaust all other options honestly instead of having to react with a ‘lie’. Honesty is integrity, even in little things. But having said that, no one’s a saint all the time. So, the intention and consequence should always be taken seriously. I believe it’s not wrong to be different at different times – to play different roles - as long as the essence of who you are remains.


Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies (Psalms 23:12-13).

The Lord detests lying lips but delights in men who are truthful (Proverbs 12:22).

Who are your ‘Idols’?

Have you been following the American Idol – the battle between the two Davids? David Archuleta vs Cook. Did the landslide results shock or disappoint you? I, like many others, was thrilled at the results having been rooting for David Cook, the rocker, all the way. I think no one else could beat him at originality – the way he gave new breath to songs like Micheal Jackson’s Billy Jean and Mariah Carey’s piece in the previous shows. While I think that the young and innocent looking David Archuleta sang like an angel with heartfelt feelings, he is already a prodigy and doesn’t need the title to prove his worth. The world knows them now; the rest is about following their heart. Well, that is my brief criteria of a commendable singing ‘Idol.’ But it does not end there. I was about to find my new ‘idols’ pretty soon.

The last 3 days and 2 nights, I was privileged to attend the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA) of Malaysia’s 26th Biennial Delegates Conference here in Kuantan, Pahang. The theme being “Women Leading Change: Making it Happen”. It was extremely hectic as our Kuantan association was the host. Nevertheless, it ignited passion in our hearts. My friend, Kavitha, and I were emceeing for the Dinner, with YB Pn Hajah Fuziah bt Salleh, MP of Kuantan as our VIP, and YWCA delegates from across the country. We even had YB Datuk Maznah bt Mazlan, Deputy Minister of Natural Resources & National Council of Women’s Organizations (NCWO) Vice President as the Guest of Honour during the Closing Ceremony. Miss Juwita Suwito, singer cum General Secretary of YWCA Malaysia was among those present. Not forgetting Mrs. Grace Lim, President of YWCA Kuantan, who pulled me in 6 months ago. In each of them, I saw ‘idol’ qualities that I would very much like to develop. These are among the numerous very busy people who are leading their lives with a sense of purpose; willing to make sacrifices for a good cause – to serve others and bring change for the better. However, I have yet to mention the 2 women, amidst many others, who inspired me the most during the Conference.

Me , Juwita , the youth

One is Ms Helen Read, International Entrepreneur & Managing Director of Ms Read (M) Sdn Bhd, who delivered the keynote address. The delegates hung on to every word she spoke as this single mother inspired us with her success and testimony of how little acts of kindness impact other lives greatly. When a petite woman of such high status showed emotion through her tears, and displayed such humility in her speech, every one was moved. It’s so true, what she said about the more you give, you the more you receive. It’s beautiful how being sensitive to the still voice of the Holy Spirit at the right time and place can go a long way. I’d like to quote her words of Mother Theresa : There are no great things. Only little things done with great love. And also her own words: Do something. Do it now. Don’t wait till tomorrow.

The other is Datuk Rasammah Bhupalan, one of the elected YWCA National Committee Members, an 81 year old lady who has contributed much to society, and continues to do so, still going strong. It was an honor to be in her group of 6 for reflection, and hear her experiences in service. For instance, fighting for equal rights for women who marry foreign men in terms of citizenship of children etc since 1969 till today; increasing awareness of the Malaysian Constitution; inculcating the “Bangsa Malaysia” ideology, fund raising and many more. The works of this woman who says “I’m not going to be around forever. I’m 81” definitely puts many of us young ones to shame, considering the physical strength and energy we are blessed with. I found myself setting my gaze upon her a lot wherever I saw her, to which she always responded with a smile. She is one of those champions who leave footprints in the sand.

Besides being stirred by the two very powerful women, my acumen was enlarged as I intently listened to the excellent panelists of “Current Issues from a Faith-Based Perspective” who were: Dr. Sharon Bong, a feminist from YWCA KL, Rev. Hermen Shastri from the National Council of Churches and Encik Hariz bin Mohamed Ibrahim, a human rights activist. Their talk was truly an eye-opener as they discussed current issues (eg: freedom of choice and human rights) with such openness. I’d like to refer to Encik Hariz’s term of the ‘Pontious Pilate mentality’ that many tend to have. The idea of “this innocent man’s blood is not on my hands” – when the Pilate, the Roman governor, sentenced Jesus Christ, who was not guilty of any crime, to death on the Cross. In other words, it’s the mindset of being unconcerned regarding decisions made simply because it does not directly affect us. I admire the passion En. In Hariz has for a universal cause and the sacrifices that he has had to make along the way. Similarly, the other two speakers advocated awareness on what is happening to lend a helping hand to whoever is in need, whether or not we are directly affected. The main point is to always support freedom, justice and equality towards humanity. And this is in line with all the major faiths of the world. Once again, I identified ‘idol’ virtues in each of them.

In fact, I could go on and on, about intrinsic worth that I observed in little acts like Dr. Sharon (the panelist) humbly bringing Kavitha and I a glass of water before we started emceeing, or making it a point to give us encouragement at the end of the Dinner. But I shall stop typing on the keyboard here. Truly wonderful people that I met during my time here – my stars. All in the example of our Christ who always championed freedom, justice and equality in the spirit of love.

1 Intelligence, 9 Lusts?

When I went for my course to Malacca, I got a ride from a colleague, who was also heading there. A man in his forties, but looking 10 years younger, made interesting company throughout the 4 hours journey. Being a religious man who had recently completed his pilgrimage, he had plenty to share about his journey and beliefs. An excerpt from our conversation was about the differences between men and women. According to his beliefs, he claimed that women have 9 elements of Lust, but only 1 element of Intelligence. Men on the other hand, are blessed with 9 elements of Intelligence and 1 element of Lust.

This he says, explains why women go shopping and desire everything they see. They have a lot of wants. As for men, they can work their way around a lot of things and get out of trouble better and faster than women. Men are also better decision makers. “Is that why men are better liars and good at cheating on their wives?” I teased. “What about men wanting every pretty woman he sees? That was the single element of lust, I reckon, from his point of view.

Don’t get me wrong, I disagree with him. In our modern days and times, women are Directors and CEOs of large organizations, even top officials of countries. I don’t believe women could achieve such great heights if they possessed very limited intelligence. It was the issue of gender discrimination in the past era that denied women the equal opportunity to study and work. But having been treated fairly, the women of out times are able to shine. Lusts – women have a lot of wants. That is true. But so do men. It’s just the type of wants differ.

If my colleague’s point of view is ever true, then I must say that the combination of the 9 elements of lust that a woman possesses is equal to the single element of lust that a man has. The same would apply to intelligence. Assuming that my colleague is right in his own way, then I am compelled to say that a single part of lust in a man can blind his 9 of intelligence. And a woman’s single component of intelligence can overwrite the 9 of lust. The same applies vice versa.

Take for example the great figures in history – many male leaders of countries have tarnished their reputation and political careers simply because of a scandal with a woman. Even Samson and Delilah in the Bible – did he not reveal the secret behind his strength to a woman, causing his downfall? And Adam and Even in the garden of Eden? Did they not both eat of the forbidden fruit?Lust vs intelligence?

So, at the end of the day, I have to say that men and women may be very much different biologically, physically, and emotionally – but as far as lust and intelligence are concerned, they are pretty much the same.

A Time of Refreshing

The past few weeks have been extremely busy for me. I hardly had the time to catch a breather from work and all those outstation meetings. Family Day in Rompin; Management meeting in Bukit Merah Laketown Resort, Perak; Finance course in the Academy, Malacca and the latest, Vehicle and log book maintenance course in Kuala Tahan, Pahang. Going places is fun and exciting, but those meetings that go up to 2 am is definitely draining. It has been 5 weeks since I haven't had the chance to attend church or return home for a weekend.

The heart was running dry, until once again, God gracefully granted me a time of refreshing, in one of earth's oldest rain forest with a history that stretches back to 130 million years ago – Taman Negara, Pahang. When I gazed my eyes upon the greenery that had existed generations before me, I was humbled. I felt like a drop of water in the river, and grateful to know its Creator. I was awestruck by His handiwork. It was my first time to that destination, and I was totally excited.

Our classes were held during the mornings and the nights (it was a 3 days, 2 nights course, by the way). During the free period, my best friend at work/colleague (the one who drives me) offered the adventure of 4-wheel drive on a route into the ‘orang asli’ settlement. The ride was almost 2 hours. Green, bumpy and seemingly never ending was the path before we finally saw other people from a distance. When I looked on my left, I saw the ravine. And on my right, were trees so tall with bark so white and smooth, some with branches that shaped almost into a rhinoceros. The element of risk was there as people said, if you’re ‘lucky’, you might run into elephants or other wild animals. Nevertheless, I felt secure knowing that safe hands held the wheel, and that there was a greater guiding Force from above. And on our way back, where the path was smoother, he let me drive! The only animals we saw on the journey were a wild boar, squirrels, buffaloes, and many cows. Not to forget the wonderful chat that we shared.

During the night, after classes, this guy drove us out to the nearest town – Jerantut. The ride there was slightly more than an hour. The 2 other ladies and I were very much surprised that the town was so alive after midnight. There was a ’dangdut’ carnival going on, with a bazaar. I bought myself 2 attractive shawls that cost only RM 10 each, which kept me a little warmer on the cold ride back to the forest. (It was extremely cold - even with long sleeves, a borrowed jacket and the shawls, I still wasn’t warm enough). We had ‘roti canai’ at a ‘mamak’ stall that was actually open 24-7. Who would have thought!

I was very chatty that night in the front seat of the Pajero (I guess I hit it off with the company) and I vowed not to sleep on our way back. They caught the first half of my sentence and used it a lot throughout the journey – “Saya telah membuat keputusan untuk tidak tidur.” They say I’m ‘pelik’ (weird) in a good way, with the words I use when speaking and the complicated ideas I pose. The ride back was supposed to be to brainwash me about the ways of ‘kehidupan bahagia’ (a happy life) they said, but it turned out that they were left with questions marks and found it amusing that my so called ‘hobi pelik’ like watching fireflies or sharing a carrot with my pet rabbit was happiness as a child – ha ha:P.

The short time of adventure was to reach its climax on Sunday morning. It was our time out as a team, after breakfast. My routine Sunday around that time would usually be attending service at church. Thus, I was determined to keep my heart and mind focused on Him, and I felt His presence on that walk with nature. We crossed over to the other side of the river, by boat. Then, we had a little hike into the premier national park to take our shot on the Canopy Walk – the world’s longest which winds over 400 meters into the forest canopy, showing off the rich and diverse flora and fauna that it encompassed.I truly loved that! What an overwhelming feeling to be about 45 meters above the ground – to touch the leaves and branches of the lofty trees and admire the grandeur of His creation. The song that instantly struck a chord in my heart was the best loved hymn, “How Great Thou Art”. A pity my best friend was terrified of heights, so he did not join me this time.

The forest guide took us on a longer boat ride on our way back to the other side. It was absolutely revitalizing to feel the breeze against my face, and to be completely drenched with water as we defied the rapids. The 35 of were divided into 3 boats. The other 2 were what we playfully called ‘bot jahat’(bad boat) as they were equipped with dippers and bottles to splash water on us whenever they had the chance. Their boatman was equally mischievous in deliberately speeding upon nearing us – giving each one of us a free river-water shower! That was truly fun – would have never felt the same in a small group. My best friend sat behind me and the other lady, in the boat. Every now and then, he would ask with a bright smile, “Suka, puas hati?” (Happy, are you satisfied?) My answer would be, “Suka, tapi tak puas…” (Happy, but not satisfied…) I wished the ride would go on and on…I felt that the ride which lasted not more than 30 minutes was too brief to capture the beauty of the surroundings. Nevertheless, I was grateful to be blessed with such an opportunity.

Upon reaching the river bank, that marked the end of our little adventure in the forest. Throughout my time in Kuala Tahan, closer friendships have been fostered with a few. I got to know the faces of staff from other branches and I learnt a lot on the course. Most importantly, His living water quenched the thirst of a withering heart.

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.

When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur.

And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
Carl Gustaf (1859-1940)

Vices of the Virtuous

Do you watch “Desperate Housewives”? I do, if I happen to be free when it’s playing on television. It’s a secular show with not much (if any) values to emulate, and definitely not recommended for the young minds, lest they be led astray. Nevertheless, I feel there is a lot to be learnt, if you can read between the lines of the engrossing script.

I admit I used to be rather naïve, and watching this show has helped see the world as it really is - the wickedness of the human heart, and the things people do. I feel better equipped to deal with people that in the past, I might have perceived as ‘truly nice,’ without doubting their ulterior motive. When I watch the show, I question the ethics and reasons behind the things people to in the name of love, respect and what nots. What makes something wrong or right?

For example: a mother staging pregnancy to cover up her daughter’s out of wedlock child, so that the newborn’s future would not be ruined; a mother lying to her daughter to save her from memories of past hurts; a man pursuing a woman for political and social gain, and being so advised by his own father who also helps to deceive the woman of worth; married people committing adultery because the flame of love died out in their marriage; and the story goes on and on.

I have once again been reminded of the ugly truth in life – examples of what not to follow, lessons on what to avoid, and the shrewdness of the Devil in deceiving humans. Somethings are clearly either right or wrong; be accountable for own actions, pay the consequences of mistakes and learn from it, do not lie, and ensure purity in conduct. Why do we often fool ourselves by blurring the lines?

Vices of the virtuous – some things that are wrong become acceptable, custom behavior simply because we manage to rationalize and justify them to make them look good. Let’s be wary of them.