What does 1 minute equal to?

One thing i'll never forget about my Captain is the infamous question in the title. Before ambush, my team was late by just one minute to assemble after setting up our tents & cooking our rationed food. When we stood before him, he didn't shout or yell at us for being late. He calmly asked us the infamous question in a low voice, to which we replied, 60 seconds. And he simply said, "Squad position down. 60 push ups." Imagine doing that right after eating! A single second can be a matter of life or death in the army, what more a minute.. A good lesson on punctuality, and discipline.

Make-up, army style!

Preparing to camouflage for ambush!

We were soldiers...for a week

A week has come and gone...a week that was once greatly feared, but now cherished forever...a week that I experienced the best days of my life!...It's almost indescribable...

Day 1
My batchmates and I departed by bus from our PJ Intan campus to Pusat Latihan Tempur Darat (PULADA) in Johor at 8.00am last Sunday to begin a week's training as soldiers. The journey lasted almost 6 hours with intervals along the way. With signboards indicating that we were almost reaching the most awaited destination, I wished with all my heart that the ride would not end so fast. My heart was filled with mixed emotions...On one hand, I was excited about the military style training that I was about to commence, and on the other hand, I feared that my feeble body may not be able to bear it. The previous batches had given us a very scary description of their experience as soldiers, but one side of me was nevertheless very eager to go through it..somehow a voice within told me it wouldn't be that bad... But to put it simply, I prepared myself mentally for the worst.

Finally, we reached PULADA around 12 noon, where we were ordered to stand in the marching field. The commanders were shouting at us, and at that moment, it felt like the gates of hell had just swallowed us in. As we were divided into our platoons, each of us were asked to swallow a pill which is supposed to prevent malaria. Simultaneously, we were given a back-pack which contained survival necessaties to carry with us, and also an army t-shirt, which unfortunately was too large for me. I came to PULADA with my own back-pack, a carry bag containing the army boots, belt and beret, and ironed clothes in hanger, in my hand. The additional luggage was too much for me to handle. Fortunately, the guys in my platoon helped me carry my load to the hostel.

The hostel we were given to stay was actually the hostel of Australian soldiers. It was like a dormitory. 2 were allocated for girls. The first one was full by the time I reached, which turned out to be a good thing. The first dorm fitted about 45 girls, and the second one, only 5. So 5 of us late comers enjoyed the privacy for 5 to a dorm. There were two common bathrooms for girls, which was pretty decent. The guys dorm was just opposite the girls'. As soon as we unloaded our stuff into the hostel, we were asked to board a bus to the training area which was 3 minutes away, by bus, to have our lunch.

I heard from previous batches that the first activity after lunch was crawling and side-roll. Both which caused nausea. Thus, I limited my intake of food, and was very particular to avoid oil and spices. I had also brough medicine to prevent vomiting. However, after eating lunch, I told myself that I want to go through it like a soldier, for that is what I was there for. I would never know my limit if I never went through it without the medicine. Thus, I left the medicine behind.

True enough, the first activity was crawling (aka jalan biawak) for a 100 metres, and back to origin. That is when I obtained my first souvenirs from the army; bruised elbows, which have yet to completely heal. After crawling halfway through, i felt completely exhausted and felt that I could not go on. But as I heard my platoon mates supporting me from the finishing line, I pushed myself further, despite the pain felt in every part of my body. When I reached the finishing line, my fingers were beginning to become numb, and my head was spinning. I felt like fainting, but told myself, 'Joanna, this is just the beginning...you must not faint. No, not now! Jesus,help me.." I didn't give in..I started massaging my own fingers and kept moving. Thank God, after some minutes, I felt better.

Following this came the most feared activity of the day - side roll!!! Imagine having to roll a 100 metres side ways! As I started rolling the first five rolls, my head already began to spin. The warned us against closing our eyes as it would cause a black-out. Somewhere along the way, I began rolling towards the side instead of up-front, and my platoon was calling out my name, asking me to stop and re-allign. As I stopped, and sat up...my God, I felt that I would faint any minute! The whole field seemed to be spinning and I could not position myself, but did it somehow through their directions,and continued rolling! And rolling, and rolling! By this time, rolling became somewhat an unconscious movement, where I found myself just rolling automatically without having to push myself.
When I reached the finishing line, my facilitator was waiting. "Joanna, jump right up and look at the sky. Don't look down. Keep on jumping!" He said. It felt impossible to do, as every step taken was on a revolving world. The important thing was not to give in to our feelings...to fight it was the key! I followed the advice, and lo and behold, after a few minutes, I felt just fine. I looked around and saw many vomitting, and in a daze, but I survived without vomiting, without medicine! My faith in God and confidence increased. I was also amazed at the capabilites of the human body to go against the ordinary and adjust back to normal just fine. Simply remarkable!

Those were the highlights of day 1. At night, we had interesting lectures...


A Captain I'll Always Remember

How many times in your life have you met someone with a kindred spirit? To me, a couple of times, but this time, it think, it was one in a million! The Captain from the army, assigned to head my platoon was not only left-handed as I am, but also shared the same birthday, which I only found out on the second last day of my military days!

Actuall, since the very first day I saw my Captain, there was something inexplainable about him that caused me to like him very much. It's not like some teenage crush or anything like that..more of a 'bond' which said, i have not known you before, but something tells me we have a lot in common. I mentally guessed that he must be born in March too, and observed that he was left-handed as well, as he handled the guns. I also observed him observing me, and that made me feel that the feeling was mutual. I truly respected and admired my Captain, for the physical strenght and agility he displayed, but he was extremely strict. I feared him, but could smile when punished, because I just liked him so much. He's a Malay guy, in his mid thirties.

When we had to practice holding the M16 gun single-handedly, I struggled very hard as it was heavy. I was the smallest in my platoon, and I could see him obversing each move I made. Suddenly, he came from behind and called my name...I kind of panicked, and he asked me, "Your really lefr-handed too?"..."Yes, sir!" was my reply. Then he taught me how to hold the gun properly, and 'adjusted' my shoulders and showed me how to position my body correctly, all without a smile, but complete seriousness. I was grateful, but of course, physical strenght was my limitation. "You need to do 100 push ups every day", he said sternly..I actually smiled, ha ha...

In the jungle survival village, we had ambush during the night, where we had to keep vigil and fire when we spotted our 'enemy', which of course was our Captain in disguise. I seriously never slept a wink, being on the lookout all the time, but when it was time to fire, my gun got jammed after the very first shot. Our captain then asked us all to get out of our hiding position, because obviously we hadn't fininshed our bullets (dummy ones)...I was very scared, as he ordered I hadn't finished mine as ordered. I told him my problem with quite a shaky voice (having cough at that time too). My Captain then took the gun from me, and pretty soon realized that it was really the gun's problem, and not mine...So he fired each remaining bullet for me, as it got jammed each time after he unjammed it.

On the second last day of our military week, we had night of performance in Puteri Pan Pacific Hotel, in Johor Bahru. It was a dinner function where we 'cadets' and the 'army staff were supposed to sit together in various tables to mingle...Each of us cadets had to leave an empty seat beside us in a table of 10, for the staff of the army. Throughout the journey to the hotel, from our base, I was hoping so much in my heart that my Captain would sit at my table, so that I could at least get to know him a little better...To my excitement, I saw him being ushered by my colleague saying to him, "Here Sir, you can sit beside Joanna." I was so thankful in my heart, but of course, I reacted as if it was nothing...ha ha....

This was my chance of a lifetime! He was extremely quiet and I decided to start the ball rolling. My first question was, "How is it like being a left-handed, handling the guns and all?"...Then, I had the audacity to ask him, are you always fierce and strict, to which he smiled and replied, "This is all a show. Just pretence.."..Somehow the topic slowly evolved to birthdays, and I asked him if he was born in March, to which he replied 28 March! I got a total shock, "That's the same as me!" I said...He just smiled and said he already knew. He had read my biodata. He later turned to my friend beside him and said to her that he was a lot like me...quiet in nature and all..He even showed me his fiance's picture.... That explained everything :)

In the morning of our second last day in the army, we had an activity called 'battle inoculation". We had to crawl under barbed wire, with small rivers on our right and left, and life bullets flying over our heads while explosives exploding beside us, and the ground shaking. I was having flu and cough, and as I crawled, I don't know just how much sand and river water from the explosion that I had swallowed! Towards the end of my crawl, I felt that I could push myself no more, and my platoon mate who had already reached simply dragged me by my uniform...I have so much to share on this but I'll focus on my Captain here, as of now, due to time limitation...My Captain was observing this I suppose, and as we lined up upon completion, my Captain came in front of me and called my name again...Once again, my heart trembled...I thought that he was going to scold me for being the last to reach in my platoon, and say that I caused my platoon to lose (actually, in the end my platoon won, and although I was last, I was still earier than the last persons of the other platoons, by 3 minutes)...And guess what my Captain said..."Joanna, you've got to eat more. Do you understand?"...That statement just made my day:)....

On the last day, a pity, my Captain wasn't around, so I smsed him a thank you messge, for everything. he replied and gave me very sound advice as last words. He said that I was quiet just like him, and we tend not to make our way to the top through popularity or 'boot-licking' which is good...Just be yourself and do your work well, don't follow others, he said...Very sound advice indeed...Truly, he will be a Captain I'll always remember:)


.....TO BE CONTINUED.....

We were soldiers

Picture taken after setting up our tents and cooking our own rationed food, shortly before all-night ambush in the jungle began.

Reflection: Chilin' Expedition

This is my favourite assignment since I began this course and I would like to share my "Reflection Paper" with you.

For our “Modul Kecerdasan dan Kecergasan Diri,” our ‘Sidang E’ chose Gunung Ulu Semangkuk and Bukit Kutu as the destinations, which were located beside Fraser’s Hill in the Selangor / Pahang border, along Sungai Chiling. It took us about 3 hours to climb up Gunung Ulu Semangkuk and another 3 hours to descend. As for Bukit Kutu which was a lot more challenging, we spent 6 hours climbing up and another 6 hours coming down. I have obtained an unforgettable experience through this expedition and have learnt many lessons which I am proud to share in this paper of reflection.

It is said that if one gets close to know nature, one will get to know to God. I found this exceptionally true as I ascended and descended the two mountains. With each step taken to climb up, I was in awe of the greatness of God in creating the world and all that is in it; the trees of various sizes, shapes and designs, the plants, the insects, the sky above, the sun and the ground, the air we breathe, and how everything works together in synchronization in this universe, at His command. I was also gained more understanding of the concepts used in religious scriptures and how they related so perfectly to nature. For example, the concept of stepping on solid ground to prevent from falling which means to keep our spirit strong to prevent vice, was so evident in nature when I stepped on soggy ground and almost fell. I also remembered other promises of God that He will send his angels to catch us lest we dash our foot against a stone, so many times when I almost fell.

Apart from that, once again, I was able to experience the truth that no man is an island. I could really feel the esprit de corps among each and every team member as we motivated each other to complete the climb when we fell exhausted and the peak seemed too high to ever reach. The stronger ones helped the weaker ones climb by reaching out their hand to pull others up, our pushing the back from behind. Our team leader, Adi Faizal, was exceptionally a motivational leader and he kept telling us that in another 10 minutes, the mountain path would not be so steep. And when the ten minutes had passed, he would say, in another 15 minutes time, the path would be easier. Although at the back of our heads, we knew he was just saying it to motivate us and was not really true, it indeed did help motivate us and was exactly what we needed; a hope to go on. Every now and then, we took breaks to recollect our energy; we shared what whatever food and drinks we brought. When we finally reached to peak of both mountains together, the feeling was just indescribable! We had made it together, and would not have done it without each other.

There is a saying that goes, ‘The mind is the battlefield. We either win or lose the battle in the mind.” This proved itself to be remarkably true as I ascended and descended both mountains. At several points, the hill seemed to be almost 90 degrees steep and I wondered if I would ever be able to make it up. I told my mind I could do it, and that I would do whatever it takes to make it. I was on all fours like a ‘spider woman’ for God knows how long, and I did not even think of looking down. As I saw the ones before me making their way up little by little, I motivated myself that if they could do it, I could do it too. The human body responds and reacts to what the mind says, and if the mind gives up, even the strongest will fail.

Besides that, I developed a greater appreciation towards the human body. Initially, I wore hand gloves to protect my hands but removed it when I felt very warm. I was amazed that the tender skin on the palm was able to provide such good grip of the tree trunks and branches. Even when I was on all fours like an animal, my hands that I thought were feeble were able to support me so well. When I felt that I had no more strength to go on, my ankles and legs were still able to take me up and down safely. I was once more amazed at the workmanship of God in making humans fearfully and wonderfully perfect for every function we could think of. I repented for the times when I belittled my own body and was extremely thankful to God for the body He has given me.

There is a song in the musical ‘The Sound of Music’ which goes, “Climb every mountain, ford every hill, follow every rainbow, till you find your dream..” I was able to fully grasp the meaning of these lyrics in the Chilin’ expedition. I was able to relate this song to dreams of success, the fear of failure and expectations. There were times in the climb when we going all uphill and we could almost see the sunlight so clearly. I was thinking that we were going to reach the peak at almost any moment, only to find that all of a sudden, we had to thread a valley downhill. It made me remember that along our way to achieve success, the path is not forever uphill; there are times when we will have to go downhill to again before reaching the top. If things in life do not happen exactly according to our expectation, God has other plans and there are reasons for it. There are lessons we must learn on the way. God has equipped humans with indescribable capabilities and potential, but sometimes we do not even try to push ourselves because of the fear of failure, and we do not have enough confidence. What is important in life is that we will always face challenges but we must not quit, as the poem goes, “When the road you are trudging seems all uphill, rest if you must, but do not quit.” And when we finally reach the top, we must remember that it is not our final destination. Our journey will never end as long as we breathe, and we must never forget how we reached the top and the lessons we learned.

All in all, this ‘Expedisi Chilin’ has been extremely beneficial to me and I will never be able to forget it. It has been inscribed in my heart and I will always cherish the wonderful relationships forged among friends and team mates, and the wonderful teamwork displayed through this expedition. My self-confidence and endurance has increased, and I feel stronger. This expedition has made me push myself against my own limitations and helped me realize that we are actually more capable than we think we are. I am also very thankful for the organizers, INTAN, for creating a module such as this.