Is that ‘lying’?
I remember during my university years, a lecturer who was very experienced in Project Management gave the class a piece of advice. “Lie with confidence to be in control. In the real world, it’s a skill you have to develop” Liars are easy to detect, with famous facial expressions and gestures to look out for. That’s why my lecturer stressed on ‘lying with confidence’. At that time, I thought that piece of advice was very unethical to follow, and reflected lack of integrity. But now, I’m actually questioning the truth and the ethicality involved in his advice.
I have observed around me, in the real world, that those who lie confidently have created pretty good impressions of themselves in meetings and in public. Those who didn’t tend to paint a slightly tainted picture. But the truth is, when you put yourself in position of the truthful, you’d understand their troubles. Sadly, not everyone can look at things that way. And if you really know the liars, you’d know they are lying through their teeth.
It’s hard being a Christian, or for that matter, holding on to principles that you want to follow (whatever your religion) – which says lying is a sin and there is no such thing as a white lie. Does hiding half the truth amount to lying? Does pretending for an innocent cause equal to lying? Is it wrong to lie to a liar for protection? Does rephrasing a sentence in such a way to avoid telling a lie make it ok? If you are in the situation to uphold someone’s image, what do you do? If you are put in a spot during meetings, do you ever think of advices like the one my lecturer provided? What makes a lie, a lie? Where does flexibility come in?
William Shakespeare did say “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts…” Does that make ‘acting’ to adapt to different situations permissible? I’m sure we all ‘act’ a lot in our daily lives. We play a different person at work and another one at home, and someone else with friends, and some other alone. We can’t possibly be the same all the time – in fact, that will be too boring.
Perhaps I shouldn’t see things from a purist point of view, and take it too hard. But I believe this dilemma will strike in one’s mind if one actually cares enough to think it through. There are those who don’t let their thoughts wander that far and take it as part of life. A friend once told me, “You can’t be too straight all the time.” Maybe that makes it easier; just take it as it comes and do what you have to do. But I still see it most ethical to exhaust all other options honestly instead of having to react with a ‘lie’. Honesty is integrity, even in little things. But having said that, no one’s a saint all the time. So, the intention and consequence should always be taken seriously. I believe it’s not wrong to be different at different times – to play different roles - as long as the essence of who you are remains.
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies (Psalms 23:12-13).
The Lord detests lying lips but delights in men who are truthful (Proverbs 12:22).
I have observed around me, in the real world, that those who lie confidently have created pretty good impressions of themselves in meetings and in public. Those who didn’t tend to paint a slightly tainted picture. But the truth is, when you put yourself in position of the truthful, you’d understand their troubles. Sadly, not everyone can look at things that way. And if you really know the liars, you’d know they are lying through their teeth.
It’s hard being a Christian, or for that matter, holding on to principles that you want to follow (whatever your religion) – which says lying is a sin and there is no such thing as a white lie. Does hiding half the truth amount to lying? Does pretending for an innocent cause equal to lying? Is it wrong to lie to a liar for protection? Does rephrasing a sentence in such a way to avoid telling a lie make it ok? If you are in the situation to uphold someone’s image, what do you do? If you are put in a spot during meetings, do you ever think of advices like the one my lecturer provided? What makes a lie, a lie? Where does flexibility come in?
William Shakespeare did say “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts…” Does that make ‘acting’ to adapt to different situations permissible? I’m sure we all ‘act’ a lot in our daily lives. We play a different person at work and another one at home, and someone else with friends, and some other alone. We can’t possibly be the same all the time – in fact, that will be too boring.
Perhaps I shouldn’t see things from a purist point of view, and take it too hard. But I believe this dilemma will strike in one’s mind if one actually cares enough to think it through. There are those who don’t let their thoughts wander that far and take it as part of life. A friend once told me, “You can’t be too straight all the time.” Maybe that makes it easier; just take it as it comes and do what you have to do. But I still see it most ethical to exhaust all other options honestly instead of having to react with a ‘lie’. Honesty is integrity, even in little things. But having said that, no one’s a saint all the time. So, the intention and consequence should always be taken seriously. I believe it’s not wrong to be different at different times – to play different roles - as long as the essence of who you are remains.
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies (Psalms 23:12-13).
The Lord detests lying lips but delights in men who are truthful (Proverbs 12:22).
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